An open letter to my husband

An open letter to my husband

I wasn’t searching for forever when I met you. Quite the opposite really. But shortly after meeting you it’s like the sun came out. You radiated warmth and love, enthusiasm and a zest for life – how could I not fall in love with you?

A few weeks after we met you had a work trip to NC and invited me along. Days before we left the trip was cancelled, but we decided to take the trip anyways. Every moment of that trip was an adventure. You brought so much joy and life into every situation you walked into. Unlike me, you never carry the burden of the world – you simply choose not to. 

You balance out my extremes. My over-ambition, my perfectionism. You encourage me to slow down. I feel a huge sense of guilt taking a day off to “do nothing” – but you encourage it. When I’m over scheduled and exhausted, you help me focus on rest instead of drive. You’ve given me permission to find the stillness in myself. 

And now in the months postpartum, when I’m told this is the hardest phase of a marriage, you make it easy.

You may not realize it, but I see you in those chaotic moments.

When our little one is stubbornly resisting sleep, when I’m caught between feeling overwhelmed and utterly drained, when I just need a moment to catch my breath – you take him from me.  And in your arms, he is the most cherished little man in the entire world. Even though you’re just as exhausted as I am, you never let him know it.

Sometimes when I’m in the other room – folding laundry, doing dishes – I hear you talking to him about me. You’ll say “there is no love like mama’s love, she loves you so much”. You speak my love over him, even when I’m not there.

If babe could talk, he’d tell me all about his adventures with you. Of how much fun you have at all hours of the night when he simply won’t go to bed. He’d tell me of the games you play, the shadow animals you make on the wall at 3am, the stories you tell him. 

Somehow, even in your weariness, you ensure our man feels your love beyond measure. It’s one of the things I admirable most about you. You never pass on your burden, you never let him in on the fact that you, too, are sometimes exhausted and in need of a break.

As we navigate through the trenches of parenthood – the sleepless nights, the never-ending cycle of bottle washing, the monthly milk-runs, the beautiful chaos of it all – I thank God for all the roads that led me here with you.