To all the mamas who came before me…

To all the mamas who came before me…

I didn’t know. 

I had no clue that when the initial excitement settled, that’s when you’d need the most support. 

That after months of sleep deprivation it all catches up to you. 

That it takes on average 12 months postpartum to heal. 

That at 3 months you’re expected back at work when your heart belongs at home. 

I didn’t know. 

I didn’t know that comments like “sleep when baby sleeps” felt tone-deaf.  That if you somehow managed to fall asleep in the same instance as your baby, you wouldn’t have time to shower, do laundry, prep bottles, do dishes, cook meals, do pelvic floor PT, and reply to all the missed calls and texts asking how the baby is, asking for pictures. 

I didn’t know that in the modernizing of the family, the village, the communal support that once sustained us, was effectively removed. 

I didn’t know. 

I didn’t know that despite all of this – your life somehow just begun. 

I didn’t know that when your baby wakes up and meets your eyes their entire face lights up. That they great you with the biggest gummiest smile that will ignite your entire heart.

I didn’t know that the best part of life would be this tiny bundle of love. That everything up until this point felt muted at best. 

And I didn’t know that this would be the most wonderful and magical thing in the entire world.

I simply couldn’t know. 

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