The tribe that is women

The tribe that is women

The journey of motherhood has been nothing short of a rollercoaster.

It’s so easy to dwell on the struggles of the last month – to go down the rabbit hole of how difficult it has been, how my goals and desires for motherhood kept getting further and further away from what seemed possible. From the unforeseen, impossible-like difficulties of breastfeeding, to the challenges of caring for newborn who made his arrival 3 weeks early and struggled with long-jaundice and oral ties. All of the stuff they don’t teach you. The stuff you think will be the easiest – because it’s natural – certainly hasn’t felt that way.

We’ve had literally dozens of doctors appointments in the last month ranging from midwives, pediatricians, pediatric chiropractors, myofascial release and cranial sacral therapists, lab technicians, a pediatric dentist to address tongue, cheek and lip ties and lactation consultants. 

What I want to do is focus on the positives that came out of Weston’s first 5 weeks of life.

During this time a network of women and mothers formed around me. Magically really, all without my prompting. They just showed up like angels. Within this group of angels were mamas I barely knew prior to Weston, mamas I didn’t know at all, my aunts, my best friends, and old friends I haven’t talked to in decades – they all became my strongest support system.  

These angels made us meals, they texted us stories of similar struggles, they made their presence known. Most impressively, they were our milk warriors. I’ve had mama’s donate their precious milk to nourish my son. I’ve had mama’s source milk at all hours of the night – picking up 60 ounces here, 100 ounces there, to help us accumulate a freezer stock pile to get us through week by week. Weston’s uncle Aakash even picked up milk from different moms around town and showed up at our house in a milkman outfit, providing us much needed comedic relief in a time when I felt like my world was crashing around me. I’ve met a woman through a local Facebook group who has even offered to pump on behalf of Weston – if you’ve ever pumped before you know it’s literal hell – she is willing to doing this in the name of nourishing a child she does not know. 

Motherhood is unlike anything I’ve ever known. It’s to be a part of something so much bigger than your nuclear family, a network of women who know what its like to sit in the pits of despair, providing to other mamas where they can and when they can, to help you get to the other side. 

In 5 weeks, this is what I know to be true: my son is healthy. He is growing and gaining weight accordingly now. My son is happy and loved and has the most incredible village around him. And I can confidently say I’ve come out of this five weeks with a bigger support team than I had going into it – that when I struggle, mom’s will come out of the woodworks to ease our burdens and problem solve with us. That even though it feels as if nothing has gone as planned, we are healthy and we are loved.

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